the L in LGBT

Ang lesbyana sa Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender.

Although I am not comfortable in calling myself a lesbian, I sometimes do just to distance myself from "tibo" stereotypes. Terrible stereotypes make me settle for a foreign term "lesbian" which is often detached from who I really am.

Stereotypes of the TIBO identity in the Philippines includes the following;

1. Always aggressive in conversations (laging galit sa mundo)
2. Beats the crap out of her live in partner (like any overly macho Filipino would)
3. Rapes women (sabi ng kapitbahay ko)
4. Wants to be a man (sabi nila. sino nga ba "sila"? ewan.)
5. Doesn't talk much. (Parang tunay na lalake, hindi masalita)
6. Always wear men's clothes (Uber laking shirt at bandana)
7. Security Guard sa mall (no offense meant.)
8. Police woman (no offense meant din.)

Although in most cases these stereotypes are true (except number 3), it does not apply to everyone.

In the case of...
number 1, I don't know where that came from.

number 2, well, it is true in some abusive lesbian relationship because they just emulate an abusive hetorosexual relationship which is often a "norm" in our society. So most tibo, who lack better examples on how to be in girl to girl relationship, think that it is manly to beat her wife just like a macho Filipino would. So let's blame the abusive macho Filipino men for number 2.

Number 3, I don't know where this came from. Maybe it was just to scare children off.

Number 4, this is a common misconception. I will elaborate on this in a different post.

Number 5. Tibo don't talk much because they don't want to be on the spotlight. They just want to chill and pass off as a man. But some don't talk much because talking much is a girl thing.

Number 6, is related to number 4, which I will discuss in a different post. A tibo wears mens' clothes in her early childhood maybe for comfort, as in my case. Every tibo has her tomboy phase but most eventually grow out of it in college.

Number 7, that is just discriminatory. there is nothing wrong with being a security guard.

Number 8. This is tough. I think it's true. lol. Kidding aside, despite their masculine built because of rigorous training, we cannot really say if they are lesbians or not unless they wear their hearts out of their sleeves.

With all these stereotypes on the tibo identity, most would settle for lesbian identity. I really hope that society would recognize the diversity in the LGBT community. The LGBT rainbow represents how different we really are and that they should not lump us all in one box of stereotypes. I want to be called tibo because it's closer to home, but first i want tibo identity to be freed from stereotypes.

Paano ba magmahal?

gumawa ako ng blog para magkablog lang.
hindi nyo malalaman kung sino o ano ako.

dahil ito ang alter ego ko.

isang lesbyana na walang pakialam sa mundo.

kung binabasa mo ito, malamang sa malamang tibo ko din, o wala ka lang magawa. wag kang mag-alala, kung hindi mo trip ang sulat ko, hindi ko din trip ang utak mo.

Paano ba makipagrelasyon sa isang tibo?

Ang relasyon ng isang babae sa kapwa babae na hindi nakaayon sa heterosexual na play of power ay mahirap. naniniwala ako na hindi mo kailangang mag-act out as the butch/male/dominant o femme/female/submissive sa isang lesbyanang relasyon. Pantay lang ang kapangyarihan, walang pinagsasamantalahan. Mahirap ito dahil wala tayong rolemodel naganon dito sa popculture ng pilipino. Karaniwan ay merong nag-aact as lalake at babae o di kaya submissive at dominant.

Paano ba magmahal?

Simple lang ang pagmamahal. Pwede kang magmahal ng sabay, pero sa dalawang taong yun laging may mas mahal ka sa kanila. Pwede kang magmahal ng isang tao pero hindi mo hinahangad na maging karelasyon ito. Simple lang magmahal, pero hindi simple ang makipagrelasyon lalo pa kung ang lipunang inyong ginagalawan ay itinatakwil ang inyong pagmamahalan.